What should I know about dating a Chinese man?

Question

I am living in China and interested in a Chinese man. I know tons of foreign men dating Chinese women, but no foreign women dating Chinese men. What are the expectations of Chinese men? How are they different than western men? I could ask my Chinese friends, but I would like to know a fellow westerners point of view.

Answer 1

I think this is one of those experiences that you need to have for yourself without any preconceptions. It shouldn't matter that he's "Chinese". Of course there are going to be cultural differences, such as the fact that family comes first for the Chinese, and that his family will always be a presence in your life should you decide to marry. But either way, I think it's a relationship you ought to pursue and see what happens; even if you don't get married, at least you'll have had the pleasure and company of a Chinese person and the experiences that came with that time together.

Answer 2

Dating A Chinese Man

Answer 3

1

Answer 4

Probably not as much as Chinese women dating American men, but it happens. It is also rare for American women to date Korean men.

Answer 5

I married a Chinese girl... so I can offer a little advice on this.



First China is a vast country and apart from normal personality differences there are many cultural differences you will need to consider. You cannot assume you know what he means without taking time to understand each other.



Respect is a major issue and you will need to learn what he expects of you and what you can expect from him. You can only do that with the individual.



You would best learn about him from his friends and habits.



If you are open to a serious relationship then you need to make sure you do not get yourself in to a whirlwind romance. There are men who will use your foreign status as a ticket to leave China. Worse still there are men who will use you as a a ticket to get their families out of China. Some are willing to plan years ahead in order to achieve these aims.



Edit: Respect is important in all cultures but to some Chinese it can be more so than many. You may not know you have offended until you learn more of the culture. What appears to be respect shown to you may be more akin to manners. You might still not have earned respect. In other words you may think you have won someone over to your thinking when in fact they continue to disagree utterly.

Answer 6

Don't listen to him!! I'm dating a Chinese man and I love him to death!!

He treats me extremely well and is very respectful. That is a very hard

quality to find in America!! You and me know that. I will say to be careful though because there are some guys out there that just want a free ticket to America.If he gets to fast in the relationship that's probably a huge sign. As for my boyfriend he wanted to get to know all about me. He is truly AMAZING!!!

So be careful,but I say definitely go for it!!!

Answer 7

It's impossible to generalize like that, not least because because China is huuuuge. Cultures would vary greatly between regions. Do you want to meet a man from Xinjiang or from Taiwan, or perhaps somewhere in the middle? It's like asking what to expect "from a European man". A weird question.



Al Scusi: Respect is a major issue in relationships in all cultures.

Answer 8

If he truly is into you, then I am sure he will care and respect your way of thinking also. Just like being with a foreigners, respect is the key

Answer 9

it rili depends on who he is, but i think, for most of the time, if he formally introduces u to his family, takes u to family gathering, then he's quite serious abt the relationship, but it doesn't mean that u must marry him or so, i've seen couples like that break up too

Answer 10

agree with the answers above, but I guess in general Chinese men care more about family, but maybe less fun...

Answer 11

Be sensitive to his culture and his upbringing. What may be common sense to you, may not be to him, and vice versa. Communication without prejudice or pre-conceived notion is key.

Answer 12

Don't be surprised to be taken to a hole in the wall restaurant on your first date. Chinese people are pretty cheap!!!!